A discussion of Aquamentus's tactics in the dungeon:

<King_Aquamentus> who dares to summon the almighty King_Aquamentus
<Chris_Miller> I do
<Chris_Miller> Dude, we gotta talk strategy
<Chris_Miller> Your triple-fireball attack sucks, you gotta figure something else out.
<King_Aquamentus> I can fly around and ram the far wall
<magibot> Maybe not, but it's far more cheap, especially in the beginning
<King_Aquamentus> maybe walk like a bulldog
<Chris_Miller> hmm
<CJC> Well, you can't really change your morphology, but you could use that horn more often. Skewer rotten fairy boys with it
<Chris_Miller> just step on Link
<CJC> Also, you should consider using more confined spaces for combat
<Chris_Miller> that too
<King_Aquamentus> that would be ffective but probably not as much as you think
<Chris_Miller> o.o
<Chris_Miller> ok, then sit on him
* King_Aquamentus is not a large creature. Large by humanoid standards but not dinosaur size
<CJC> If you're fighting in a narrow passage, though, the fairy boys won't be able to dodge your fireballs
<Chris_Miller> you're like eight times his size
<King_Aquamentus> no
<King_Aquamentus> I"m not
<Chris_Miller> you can sit on his head and fart
<King_Aquamentus> I could do that probably
* King_Aquamentus is about the size of a horse
<CJC> Maybe a rhinoceros
<Chris_Miller> those bastards will stink like hell if you eat a few goriyas first
<CJC> Well, you could break off your horn and befriend the fairy boy
<CJC> It seemed to work for that one Dodongo
<CJC> I suppose it depends on who you want as an employer, the lord of darkness or some upshoot hero
<King_Aquamentus> not likely
<King_Aquamentus> I think an Aquamentus's horn is a bit more... vital
<CJC> Then put a cork on it!
<CJC> XD
<Chris_Miller> o.o.o
<CJC> Come to think of it, you have a distinct advantage over most of the other critters. Digdogger's a freaking souffle. Gleeok can't help but argue with his own heads (it's a multiheaded thing), Patra's defenseless without its hive...
<CJC> Though maybe if you employed some Manhandla tactics. You know, charging with increased speed every time the fairy boy hits you
<CJC> He's bogged down with all those tools in his bag. He doesn't move very fast
<King_Aquamentus> he has bombs
<Chris_Miller> detonate them with a well-placed fireball
<magibot> I got a bit confused
<Chris_Miller> then dodge the elf chunks
<CJC> Yeah, as long as you don't eat the bombs like Dodongo does you'll be fine.
<CJC> Though they make bomb bags out of Dodongo stomachs. Shouldn't he be able to swallow them safely?
<CJC> And then fart fire
<CJC> Ah, I know what you need to do. Either dig some magma pits or lay down a sheet of ice
<CJC> In a narrow passage
<Chris_Miller> yup
<CJC> Then, when he tries to jump the pits with his magic feather, burn it
<Chris_Miller> and break all the hookshot points
<Chris_Miller> :)
<King_Aquamentus> I think the Magma pits are only in Death Mountain.
<King_Aquamentus> in first quest at least.
<CJC> Okay, then pack up your dungeon and move into the mountains
<CJC> And eat that old man that's running around in there
<CJC> so he can't tell the fairy boy where you went
<Chris_Miller> and once you get to the top of the mountain, break the ladders
<Chris_Miller> :)
<CJC> No, that might not work. I heard Manhandla was guarding a portable one
<King_Aquamentus> yeah
<King_Aquamentus> no Manhandla isn't
<King_Aquamentus> nobody is
<King_Aquamentus> its just there
<CJC> WHAT!?
<CJC> The portable ladder is unguarded?!
<King_Aquamentus> in the bottom of what used to be Hyrule Castle.
<CJC> How could the lord of darkness allow such a thing?
<King_Aquamentus> well consider this
<King_Aquamentus> we're guarding all the pieces of something he wants
<King_Aquamentus> and he doesn't just come and get them
<CJC> Hmm...
<magibot> Nintendo needs a new IP, badly
<CJC> So... we're NOT working for the lord of darkness?
<Balthazaar> hw
<CJC> Wait, that would mean we're working for the princess
<King_Aquamentus> there's a reason he didn't exactly reflect with the Triforce of Wisdom in the first place
<CJC> Now I'm confused
<King_Aquamentus> he's not the sharpest tool in the shed
<CJC> So... we're working for the princess, but she knows the lord of darkness will only open his lair to somebody who HAS the eight triangles, so...
<CJC> she put us here to test and make sure the one that collects the pieces can actually kill the lord of darkness?
<Balthazaar> 2 pieces are better than one
* Balthazaar is now known as Aeos
<CJC> Come to think of it, there ARE a lot of stalfos in our dungeons. How many adventurers have we eaten in defense of these triangles?
* Nexas|Away is now known as Nexas
<King_Aquamentus> no
<CJC> But I KNOW I saw Patra going into the lair of the Lord of Darkness. So, what, are we mercing out for both sides?
<King_Aquamentus> no
<King_Aquamentus> you misunderstand
<King_Aquamentus> Ganon is an idiot
<CJC> ...
<CJC> All of this is making me want to pack up my rupees and hide in a cave somewhere
<Chris_Miller> and charge people for door repair
<CJC> But then they might tell the lord of darkness where I'm hiding
<CJC> And he may be an idiot
<CJC> but he's freaking invisible
<CJC> And have you seen how many hearts he rips out when he touches something?
<Nexas> <Nexas> So
<Nexas> <Nexas> You know that Snowstorm Nick was apparently having?
<Nexas> <Nexas> Welp
<Nexas> <Nexas> Apparently
<Nexas> <Nexas> I'm getting one tomorrow
<King_Aquamentus> wear red.
<CJC> Come to think of it, we're all just sacks of hearts aren't we. Where are our other organs? Except for Dodongos, apparently
<CJC> That sounds like a good idea. A red shirt. ...Oh wait
<magibot> Me too.
<CJC> That weirds me out too. When the fairy boy puts on red he's twice as strong as when he wears blue, but when WE wear blue we're twice as strong as when we wear red
<King_Aquamentus> Ok then wear blue.
<CJC> But doesn't it seem... odd?
<King_Aquamentus> Not in terms of Star Trek Next Generation
<King_Aquamentus> all the high command and non-expendable cast wear red.
<King_Aquamentus> its the dime a dozen ensigns that wear gold instead
* You are now known as Moblin
<Moblin> But the medical staff wear blue
<Moblin> And they almost never get killed on away missions
<King_Aquamentus> almost nobody got killed on away missions in TNG
<King_Aquamentus> Except Tasha
<Moblin> Except for Tasha
<King_Aquamentus> and again she had on gold
<King_Aquamentus> wop wop woooooooop
<Moblin> So... if I'm the room leader I generally get to be stronger than everybody else.
<Moblin> And I have the satisfaction of knowing that my subordinates will run screaming when I'm sent off to the jar
<King_Aquamentus> no, you get to hold the self destruct switch.
<Moblin> But then I have to carry the keys, and that guarantees the little fairy boy will attack me first
<Moblin> Why can't we just, you know, collapse one of the rooms on top of the fairy boy when he enters
<Moblin> We've got shutter control
<Moblin> He'd make a nice fairy pancake
<King_Aquamentus> he is a pancake
<Moblin> What do you think that bait Goriya likes is made of?
<Moblin> I haven't seen any wildebeasts in Hyrule
<Moblin> I mean, I've seen some fossils
<Moblin> But they're ancient
<King_Aquamentus> its meat.
<Moblin> Yes, but what KIND of meat?
<Moblin> Octorok meat? Zora meat? ...Moblin meat?!
<King_Aquamentus> something worth 60 rupees
<Moblin> Okay, so if they sell arrows at 1 rupee a piece...
<Chris_Miller> rancid meat
<magibot> Hey Gleeok
<Chris_Miller> it kills the goriya when you give it to him
<Moblin> And they want to make a reasonable profit on the viand they're selling... then the thing needs to die in two hits with an acceptable hit ratio of 1 in 3.
<Moblin> What can be killed with two arrows
<Moblin> ...Moblins!!!
<Moblin> AAHHHH!
<Moblin> Well, I think I'm going to go find a cave to hide in. Tell me if you stop the fairy boy. ...Maybe if I bribe him he won't tell anybody where I'm hiding.