So Baylor requires all students to spend 2 semesters in what they call "Chapel". It is a one hour long, twice a week, very stupid church service. I find it offensive and ridiculous that I am required to experience the propaganda of the local mystics, so I protest by blatantly playing my gameboy during the whole "service".

So today this fat idiotic lady comes up to me during church and says, "Would you please put that away?" I smile and inform her, "No." And I go back to playing Final Fantasy IV Advance. She then says, "Excuse me..." to which I do not respond because I find her irritating. She tries to get my attention several more times, before I find that she is making my game less enjoyable, so I turn around and say, "Is this against the rules? Will I be forced to not only be here, but to pay attention as well?"

Her: "On the first day of chapel, they explained that you must pay attention."

Me: "Oh, well I had my ear plugs in on the first day, and I was taking a nap so I didn't hear that." [I go back to playing Final Fantasy. She is starting to get angry.]

Her: "What's your name?"

Me: "I am not required to tell you my name."

Her: [getting more angry] "Do you want me to call campus police?"

Me: "Do you want to call campus police and tell them that someone is playing gameboy in church? I might go with you because that would be funny."

Her: "We can take that away from you, you know."

Me: "I suppose if a couple of your staff held me down and stole it you could, but legally you cannot. You are not a police officer, and I am not breaking a law. This is not a class and you are not a teacher. It is a religious event that I am forced to be at."

Her: "Tell me your name."

I say nothing. I go back to playing gameboy. She storms off. I can see that she is waiting by the entrance to get me after the service so I can't scan my student ID and be marked present, so I wait until it is really crowded and chaotic and I leave through another door.

She figured I would be one of those 18 year old freshman, all scared and intimidated by either her weight or her authority (or both), but really I am a 25 year old computer programmer who is too old and too experienced to be intimidated by someone with more bark than bite. I can smell a lack of authority from a mile away, so she can kiss my heathen, godless butt.