Its that time of the year again, where the video game companies have a circle jerk and compare each others metaphorical dicks to see who has the biggest one to entice our wallets. If you don't normally pay attention to or have the time for E3 but are curious about what gets announced, don't worry because I got your back! I do all of the time wasting for you so I can bring what important shit happens at E3 to you in digestible read-y bits.
Lets start with the Press Conferences (which is where most, if not all of the announcements come from anyway) starting with Microsoft.
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Spoiler tags ftw (to help with window sizings). What is Project Scarlet you ask? Its the new console from Xbox. its supposed to be super special awesome, but we'll just see because other than being super special awesome we know very little about it other than that the XB1 and XBBC libraries will be available out the gate and something something something 8k visuals, but who cares about pretty things? Minecraft Dungeons is basically Diablo but Minecraft flavored (at least from what the trailer shows) and will be multiplat on EVERYTHING, including the Switch. PSO2 is a remaster thingy of a entry in that series we never got because Japan thinks we don't like nice things and are stupid. Borderlands 2's Sanctuary DLC is out as of the announcement and adds about 3 hours worth on post game content and is free to get if you have the collection until a certain period of time, then you gotta open your wallet if you wanna play it (ie: one time purchase) Nobody really knows what Elden Ring is. Fallen Order looks like a actually good single player SW game from EA (you better not cancel this EA or I will boycott your shit for eternity, *insert rant abut last 15-ish years of EA's shit*) Anyway, onto *shudder* Bethesda...
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So Bethesda has done some stupif shit this past year or so what with Fallout 76 aka Fallout Dumpster Fire Edition and Elder Scrolls Blades aka ES Mobile Dumpster Fire Edition which the later of is coming to the Switch aka NOBODY will play it unless they are an idiot. Do some research if you wanna know why Blades sucks so much I got tldr ing to do. Commander Keen sounds nice right? Nope its mobile only, changes the genre and artstyle of the series and is already getting shit on by fans old and less old alike. The only thing that actually show promise (from my own humble opinion) is Doom Eternal as I never played the newer Wolfenstein games so I have nothing to invest/care about these 2 new games. Now onto PC stuff before I vomit my internal organs.
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To be honest I don't really play PC much due to not investing into a good enough gaming PC and really just growing up with consoles so I really don't have much to say on this part other than that Shenmue 3 is gonna suck now because its going Epic Store exclusive despite being crowdfunded which makes many people pissed off and for good reason. Otherwise the only PCgame here I have any remote interest in is Terraria Journey's End but I play that on console more than PC nowadays so it won't be on my radar until it hits there. So TLDR, if you play PC, do a bit of research on these and if Epic has an exclusive deal with it will probably suck, but not because the game is bad itself. Now to Ubisoft!
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Never had any interest in Ubisoft other than whenever Rayman isn't being dominated (giggity) by Rabbids except for the Mario+Rabbids crossover game on Switch which is pretty good (I recommend it if you are XCOM fan). As for the E3 offerings, Gods & Monsters looks decent...for a trailer that doesn't really tell us much about the actual game, Brawlhalla gets Adventure Time characters if that's your fetish. Just Dance Yearly Release Edition, Watch Doge 3 (being called Legion) which gives you multiple characters you can control and permadeath so don't get attached to them because death, like multiverse theory, is a bitch. Just ask Thanos. Not MCU Thanos though because he doesn't have a hard on for Death, just balance. Now for Square-Enix! In the next post because post limits are something I don't like to test, so please don't post for the next hour or so just in case I'm not finished yet.
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