IKARI WARRIORS II: "KICK A CLOWN, THAT'S RIGHT"?

November 26, 2014 by King Aquamentus


So, my previous two articles were very thought-and-theory oriented. However, I'm not gonna do serious stuff all the time: you have to have some fun once in awhile, right? That's why I'm pulling up this "gem" (more like a piece of glass), Ikari Warriors II: Victory Road, also known as Ikari Warriors II: Bellowing Atmosphere (...what?) If you had doubts about the first game, well... this one isn't much better. It's also one of those very first NES games I ever had though, and if not for that, I probably wouldn't even mention it. It isn't a great game by any stretch, though the environments are at least "ok-ish", and certainly better than the first game. The player moves very slow, and the NES's method of compensating for the Arcade game's controls... well... just like with the first Ikari Warriors, it isn't great. This is not why I am mentioning the game though.

Listen to the voice sample when the game starts.


Nothing says "VICTORY" like gargling your own vomit while angrily meowing, right?

But seriously, what the actual crap is he saying? If you go by the arcade version, he's likely saying "come on, let's fight!", but nowhere in that statement do we hear anything that sounds like a cat with lung cancer. Clearly, in this version, he's saying "Hit-Ooowww, it's bright!!"

Or maybe... "pick around, its white!"

..."Gotta pawn all night"?

"Pokemon, hit pike!"

I don't know. Come up with your own silly interpretations for this bizarre game.